I'd Like to Thank my Inner Child

When I was five years old, I wanted to be a cheerleader when I grew up. That dream died as soon as I found out how athletic you had to be, but it was soon replaced for my love of cameras. Cameras led me to what I went to school for; filmmaking. Like many I was a kid who was full of giggles. I found happiness in my imagination and my very small world

My Dad was the family scrapbooker. Circa 2003.

view. All I could think of, as I got older, was my future. Funny enough, you can't stand being a kid when you are one. Like many, all I wanted to do was grow up when I was young. Then something happened: the kids became adults.

I recognize now that becoming a grownup is stupid, yet it is inevitable. Growing up comes with “fun” new responsibilities like getting a job and paying your bills. And with new responsibilities, comes leaving behind things that are nonsensical. So when I graduated from college and became a working adult, a lot of the things I loved were left behind in hopes of a new job and an investment in my future. Cut to several months later and hundreds of applications sent out, I was nowhere closer to getting a full time job in my field. I was completely depressed, and the money got tighter and tighter. Additionally, my freelance jobs were few and far between, which caused a lot of stress. I seriously thought it was time to leave and close the filmmaker chapter of my life. With that, I expanded my job hunt to outside of my field, much to my dismay.

After many months, I finally got hired…

...as a substitute teacher in my hometown.

At first, I didn’t think this would be the best fit for me. I was extremely hell bent on getting a full time job in the film industry and it felt like teaching was an extreme detour from my goals. But with the famine period of the industry rearing its ugly head, I knew substitute teaching was the best way to pay my bills and replenish my savings that I wasted waiting to move. After working for several months, I’m happy to admit I was wrong. This was probably the best choice I made for myself, career wise.

Substitute teaching is an odd job. Every day is a new classroom and a new subject. No two classrooms are exactly alike. It is your job to quickly get used to the classroom you are a part of, and make sure the students still have a productive day of school, even though their teacher isn't there. Each time I walked into a school, I would be working with a completely new group of children. However, here's the the thing: though the kids were from different backgrounds and different upbringings, they were all extremely similar with one thing; their imagination.

There are infinite possibilities in a child's mind. No task is too big or too small. Being their teacher, it's an interesting position to be in. You are there for the big discoveries in a child's life, much like a parent. You are there to celebrate when they finally understand or comprehend a new idea. It's literally the best feeling. However, I still can't believe how much the children affected me as much as I affected them.

Márgu from Klaus. GIF via Animation Moments

What’s crazy is that I rediscovered the kid in me. Through these kids, I was taught plenty of lessons, even though I was their teacher! I learned to laugh again, and take life one step at a time. They reminded me to practice patience and respect; for myself and others. Additionally, they taught me that thinking outside the box, and I mean way outside the box, is one of the most valuable skills anyone could have.

There is something beautiful in getting in touch with your inner child. Unlocking that level of creativity, especially as an artist, is crucial to become the best you can be. There is a reason that art has been added to STEM ( Science, Technology, Engineering, Math) creating STEAM. Many are now realizing that creativity is vitally important for invention and innovation.

In the creative sphere, you have to embrace your inner child. Filmmakers and artists tap in to that creative side, however, we are clouded by reality and what could feasibly be done. Your inner child doesn’t see reality as what it is, but what it can be. It's freeing to think like your five year old self because the possibilities are endless. Tapping into that mindset is not only helpful when it comes to work, but it can be healing too.

Apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. Images from 2006 and 2022.

I'm excited to say I got my mojo back, and I'm moving west to pursue my passion. It's because of those kids in the classroom that I found my inner child again and found value in doing what I love. Being able to reflect on my younger self has shown me that I can be way too hard on myself. In moments of frustration, like my long term job hunt, I have to show myself patience. I know my younger self would.

What's the point of all of this? Never grow up! Let your inner child soar. It might take you on a wonderful new adventure. Or better yet, positively affect the people around you.